David Cameron’s decision to step down as MP for Witney was based on fears he would be unable to control his raucous brand of comedy whilst seated in the back benches. Cameron, who took the concerns of the ordinary people of the country very seriously while Prime Minister, has revealed that his true nature is […]
An aggrieved patient claims he saw a group of “greedy” junior doctors lighting cigars with £50 notes outside a busy A&E. Mr. Tool, 52, said he witnessed this despicable scene after spending nearly five hours in A&E, after he went there complaining of a headache.
A man in his mid-thirties, who claims it is his duty to correct any grammar or spelling mistakes he observes, is actually just ‘a bit of a dick’, it has emerged.
A man in his mid-thirties has admitted to being addicted to internet click bait, and is asking for emergency therapy to cure him. Russell Watts, 37, explains: “I guess it started around 2010. Scanning an innocuous list of fifteen images I couldn’t believe existed, my eye was drawn to the bottom of the page, where […]
An increasing number of middle-class households are using the so-called “bags for life” from supermarket chain Waitrose in place of bin bags, it has emerged. In what is seen as a direct snub of the nation’s vote to leave the EU back in June, hundreds of well-to-do Remainers are deliberately dumping their butternut squash peelings […]
Tracey Bustle, a 39-year-old mother of three took drastic action in Dunstable yesterday to combat the ever-shifting glacier of attitude creeping her way and threatening to engulf her entirely. “I literally couldn’t take it anymore,” wept an emotional Bustle.
A man who went to see a film based on one of his favourite novels has complained that it was different to the book, and that the makers of the film “got it completely wrong” because it didn’t match his vision of how it would look on the big screen.
A middle-aged woman has confessed that she’ll probably never actually get around to reading ‘Pride and Prejudice’. Jane Ashton, 44, smiled ruefully as she admitted that she just can’t get into the 203-year old classic, bought for her by a well-intentioned friend. “I can’t even watch the film, and I quite like Keira Knightley as a […]
As far as tips for the modern writer go, this is an obvious one—and I’m certainly not the first person to advocate it—but lately it’s been the most helpful piece of advice anyone’s ever given me. The fact that I gave it to myself makes me doubly happy.
My brothers and I, we’re all massive fans of the Thames television adaptation of The Wind in the Willows from the mid-eighties. Do you know the one I mean? The one with David Jason as the voice of Toad and Chief Weasel, and Michael Horden as Badger. Anyway. At the beginning of each episode, the […]