The Daily Bandwagon

Middle Class Families Using Waitrose ‘Bags for Life’ as Bin Liners

The Daily Bandwagon

An increasing number of middle-class households are using the so-called “bags for life” from supermarket chain Waitrose in place of bin bags, it has emerged.

In what is seen as a direct snub of the nation’s vote to leave the EU back in June, hundreds of well-to-do Remainers are deliberately dumping their butternut squash peelings and Teapigs tea temples into the green-handled bags—which cost ten pence a time—instead of using the traditional black bin liners.

“This is just our little way of saying ‘f—k you’ to the Brexit voters,” said Arnold Smyth, 42, with a sneer. “Given that it was mainly poor people and northerners that caused this whole debacle, what better way to get back at them than by throwing away a recyclable resource from a supermarket they can’t afford to shop in.”

“Sometimes I don’t even wait until it’s full before replacing [the bag],” said another Faringham resident, who wished to remain nameless. “It’s petty, and wasteful, but at least we’re not racists.”

When it was suggested that it was actually rich farmers and the Cornish that pushed the Leave vote over the edge, Smyth wagged his finger dismissively and said, “Nice try.”

“I’ve heard that sort of codswallop being bandied around. But we all know who’s to blame.”

Other acts of rebellion reported to The Daily Bandwagon include tipping an entire box of Dorset cereals muesli onto a garden bird-table, and smearing the windows of local betting shops with Yeo Valley yogurt.

“This is the start of something big, believe me,” claims Smyth. “They may have denied us a second referendum, but they won’t stop us taking back the streets of Faringham.”