The Daily Bandwagon

Scientists tasked with creating new facial expression protocol

The Daily Bandwagon

Scientists are working around the clock to develop a new set of facial expressions, to be universally adopted and understood to mean “You’re a twat.”

Angelina Jolie has announced that she’s accepted a pivotal role as spokesperson for the organisation, stating: “This is so exciting. Everywhere I go I witness the ongoing struggle of women, it’s mostly women, attempting to use a variety of non-verbal cues to let a man, it’s mostly men, know what an utter twat he is. Adopting a standard convention is going to be life-changing.”

The Daily Bandwagon was invited to attend a focus group where the inaugural protocol was beta-tested. We caught up with Alex, 28, who said: “I don’t really get it, but Angie’s still looking pretty good, for her age.”

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