The government is piloting a new scheme to reduce the blood pressure and stress levels of drivers on Britain's rural roads, it has been revealed. Very small, grey-haired people are being paid to drive at a minimum of 20 mph under the national speed limit, in an attempt to delay drivers who are in …
The Daily Bandwagon
£5 note chuffed with new look, other notes think he’s a twat
In an exclusive and surprisingly candid interview, the brand new £5 note has expressed delight at his new look and feel, showing no signs of regret at having been ostracised by his larger, "more papery" contemporaries. …
Writers to be paid in ‘Likes’ from now on
Writers and journalists—and in some cases teachers, doctors, and members of the emergency services—will, in the very near future, be paid solely in Facebook likes, it has been revealed. In the wake of the tragic case of Merritt Tierce, the government has unveiled a plan to work alongside the …
Scientists tasked with creating new facial expression protocol
Scientists are working around the clock to develop a new set of facial expressions, to be universally adopted and understood to mean "You're a twat." …
Scientists confirm: Gesticulating behind partner’s back more effective than talking
Scientists at Cardiff University have today published the results of their long-term, independent studies into how to maintain a long and happy marriage. …